GAME PLAN!



Plan for Oct. 4th

B- coffee/half granola bar 100

L- diet green tea

D- unknown/ under 300

Plan for Oct. 5th

B- coffee/half granols bar 100

L- diet green tea

D- unknown/ about 400

What am I Doing????

I have been crazy lately. All the stress I have been in caused me to throw out all I know about losing weight. I have been failing. I have gained weight, I know I have.

Starting tomorrow morning, all of my failures will not matter.

    This time, I am going to focus on:
bad foods vs good foods
Metabolism boosting
staying energized
eating tiny amounts of calories per day.

      I am hoping to burn twice as much calories consumed.

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I love her hair. jusssayin



MY thinspiration.

Things that Thinspire me:
    
     Beautiful Clothes
     Happiness
     Photography
     Skinny Jeans
     Beautiful Tiny People
     Being Able to Wear Anything
     Matt Carrying Me
     Being in My Underwear
     The Thought of One Day being Thinspo
     Not being SelfConscious
    
    

Why Are People Crazy?

     Matthew got into a fight with the guy who was being an ass to me. I hate fights. I think they are stupid, but I cannot make his decisions for him. There was alot of blood where it happened. Matt busted the kids face open.
Now I have to go to school without him for 10 days. oh well.
I have been miserable lately. I cannot stay on track. There is way to much going on.
Why are people crazy?
     Matt's ex seriously needs to get her head checked. I do not know what has gotten into her. I never did anything to her. She has caused so many problems. I am not sure how much longer I can deal with this; although Matt seriously beat that kid, I think it only made things worse. Sasha got a wrong impression from the fight. I am sure she thinks they were fighting over her. They were not though. I need to stop caring what goes on in the mind of that psycho. What she says doesn't matter, same for the opinion of that fat kid.
     Starting now: I am accepting that she is rediculous, and has a misconcieved perception of reality. that means what she does and says does not affect me in any way, unless I allow it too. She cannot change things between me and Matthew.

(thanks kala)
    

Today is a bitch.

Today Sucks.
     I woke up late.
     I fell down the stairs at school.
     I ate too much food.
     Matthews ex girlfriend is being a cunt.
     I spilled paint all over my favorite jeans 
     then I spilled ketchup all over them at the
     mall.

I think I am just going to stay in bed tomorrow...

    I need thinspo, and lots of it.

     I can't wait until I can be little enough to be somebody's thinspo.

Homecoming pictures and stuff.

Homecoming 2010

I absolutely love him.

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hmm. tomorrows plan

B- Granols bar, coffee : 100cals

L- Trail mix, geen tea: 170cals

D- not sure but keeping it under 400cals

Water: going for my 8 glasses or more!

-Exercise: Bike ride!

Tomorrow: New Beginning?

     Homecoming was tonight, and it was amazing. The best part was Matt. He is unbelievably handsome. I will post a picture as soon as I can. We have lots of them. When we went to his Dad's, his aunt was there: her first comment was "she is so tiny, Matthew!" that made me feel good. I have always wanted to be tiny. And also, a few people were trying to get me involved in drama with matts ex. I was planning on beating her tonight, but I wanted to make tonight about us.
     My eating plan has been totally thrown out this weekend. I have probably consumed more calories in one day than my goal for the week. I am going to get back on track tomorrow. Sunday; the beginning of the week, that is perfect!
I really do not want to weigh myself tomorrow. i am  going to be so heavy because of the past few days. oh well.

TOMORROW

• clean
• start new "diet"
• (secret thingy!)
• catch up on sleep.

           I need thinspo!



HELP!

I need help!
     I cannot stay on track! I want to so bad, but I keep caving in to food that is only going to make me gain weight. I need to make better choices. I cannot reach my goal like this, so I am going to make a plan for tomorrow. I need to find the things to keep me motivated: and thinspo is one thing.

Fat, Fat, and more Fat... + tips

     I don't even want to talk about how I am doing, but I am  going to anyway.

         I have been doing amazing until last night. I made pepperoni rolls and I ate two... at 9:00 at night. (that is an epic fail). Today I didnt do too bad, but I had about 900cals. which is not good. It is very difficult for me to stay in line during the school week. I dont have enough time in the morning to prepare my proper metabolism jolting breakfast, and I cannot get enough water. and also: The lunches are bad for me. Finally, by the time I get home I am already focused on other things and I end up eating too much for me.

        

Here are a few TIPS for you and me!

• 
  
  Drink WATER! (ice cold)
• 
  
  always think about what your eating and see if its worth the fat/cal.
• 
  
  Get your sleep!
• 
  
  Dont forget Green Tea in the early morn! (or coffee) Caffeine motivates me!
• 
  
  Don't just sit around, do something! wiggle around. or whatever suits you.
• 
  
  Eat slowly. (I have troubles with this. I am a speedeater!)
• 
  
  Exercise! burn as many calories as you can!
• 
  
  Stay motivated!

Most Importantly, Stay healthy!

I need some big time thinspo.

In the spirit of Homecoming.

COUPLES THINSPO!!!



Random thoughts for the night.

(random thought 1)

     I am sitting here, and I don't know what to do with my life. I really need to figure out soon. I am gettting up there. Does anyone know of any careers that are doing good these days? help a girl out :]. Matt is going to pursue a carrer in a military field. i think he is going to be a part of the Army or Marines. I am kind of scared, but what can I say? I support him. I just don't want to lose him forever. I hope everything works out.

(random thought 2)

     I took a late night walk around the town. Some people are already decorating for Halloween. How exiting! I need to get a camera soon. Maybe I can save up all the money between now and not spend a penny until my target weight is reached. That sounds like a good idea. I dont need any kind of professional grade camera, just one to record memories. I had my camera stolen last year, and i never got it back. it was taken aling with a memory card storing a year and a halfs worth of pictures I never developed yet, including my first trip to the beach. Maybe it will turn up?

   (Random thought 3)    

I am trying to figure out a good artistic project. i want to make him some kind of amazing drawing or painting for him to have. Maybe i will do something creative. i want to do something memorable.
                              night.

So, I was thinking...

People are rediculous.

    I have always had problems with Matthew's ex-girlfriend. She has always been trying to give him reason to break up with me. She is basically trying to make me look bad. I am not one to resort to violence, but she has said some harsh things about me, but every time I have kept my cool. She makes me want to hit her so hard. I am not sure what she thinks of herself. She is always going around talking about how much she hates sluts and liars, but she is basically a slut. (this is widely known throughout this area).  Mainly because slut means someone who engages in sexual activity outside of a long term relationship during the duration of that relationship. So that also makes her a liar.

    I am not "cyber bashing" her or anything im just stating these things for the sake of their fact. its a part of my life, this is my blog. and she cause me problems. I don't think people like her ever change though. I guess I can deal.

    I am doing great so far today.

        I have stayed on track and exercized. I feel really good. Maybe if I can be this progressive for a week, I may have some results. I will  just have to wait and see for the rest of the week I guess. I dont want to be dianosed with an ED but im not sure if i can get to desired weight without it. I will try to be healthy and suggest you do too.

total caloric intake so far today(at 5:38pm)
 Green Tea with honey: 60cal
 Ceaser Salad from McDonalds: about 230cal
 (dinner updated around 9) 250 cal

I am not positive how much water so far, but it is alot. I have always drank alot of water. I usually get over my 8 glasses. :3

                                 I am so happy it is Fall!

Halloween is my all time favorite holiday!

I think thats why I love fall.

         

 

I neeeed to stay in line... & Plan For Tomorrow

I spent the day with my wonderful Matthew.<3

...but my eating was terrible.

I did good for breakfast, but by noon I was doing horrible. We sat around and ate a box of cheez-itz between the two of us...

   Oh well, I will make up for it tomorrow! I need to stay optimistic. Its very difficult. None of my family or friends would support my weight loss ideas because they think I am healthy. They wouldnt understand. I need some support from somewhere though. I usually read the blogs of other thinspired girls. They are very helpful.

thinspiration for tonight.

This reminds me: I need a new camera.    Yay for birthdays!

My eating Plan for Sunday, September 19th.

     Breakfast

       Green Tea with Honey. Ice cold water.

    

      Lunch

       (get home)small salad. Drink glasses of  ice cold water until full.

      Dinner

         Very small portion of lean meant that is fixed, vegetables, ice cold water

 plus drink water all day to maintain fullness!

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I dont think I have any plans tomorrow.

I have been slightly anti-socail lately. Bottom line is: people are bitches. My anti-socialness is pissing off many of my friends. I am giving them the wrong impression. Its ok. I'll come out of this soon enough.

night.

      

      

   



Thinspo: Skinny Jeans!

I absolutely love skinny jean thinspo.

I cannot wait to look like that in my skinnies.

        

My first blog.

I have started this blog because i need motivation.

I have motivation:

I have my wonderful Matthew.

but I want to dedicate myself to my goal. and this is going to help.

I try to lose some of my weight but i am so weak. i cant stray away from all my food that i love to eat.

I need to be stronger.

current weight: 116 lbs

I want to weight about 108lbs.

i know im not that big, but I want to reach that weight.

that weight will make me feel better.

i want to be a tiny girl.

I cannot wait until I am a tiny girl.